"I have nothing to wear" = “I can’t find the 5 shirts I wear under the piles of clothes I never wear but refuse to get rid of."
"Hey can I look at your phone?"
“Yeah let me just finish this text.”
*deletes 200 selfies*
REMEMBERING ALL YOUR NEGLECTED RESPONSIBILITIES AT ONCE LIKE
Hey so IF we have a MUTUAL follow goin on, feel free to ask for my
- cellular number
- first born
you know, anything you want
i wonder what its like to be attractive enough to have random people have crushes on you
tips for people planning to visit Australia during summer:
- what the fuck are you thinking
- abort mission mate